Adventures of a Fanboy
by Darth Tromeros
Summary: A few of the things Phil Coulson did around Captain America. Not slash; just some creepy and intense fanboying. Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about.
1. Prologue

As soon as Nick Fury left the room, Phil Coulson let out a squeal. If the Avengers Initiative was to be activated, that meant that his idol would get to come! He smoothed his hair with his hand, although it was never messy in the first place.

He left the room as well, trying to keep from sprinting. He wanted to get the Captain. He wanted to be the one to ask him to come in. He giggled, causing an intern in earshot to turn around and give him a weird look. Phil regained his composure and put a hand up to her to signal a wave. She nodded back, uncertainty still displayed on her face.

Phil went into his room and flopped down on his bed before screaming into his pillow like a teenage girl high on hormones. Being around Captain America 24/7? It was a dream come true!

Standing up, he calmed himself down and went to find Fury. As he crossed through the hallways, the only things he were thinking about were things he would do when he finally got to be with Captain America; things like what he would say, what he would do, and all the rest.

Finally, he found Fury. "Sir," he started. Fury turned around. "May I be the one to get the Captain?"

Fury raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

"Sir, I'll do my job well." Coulson's eyes widened, as if he were trying to give him puppy dog eyes.

"No doubt you will, Coulson. But considering how big of a fan you are…."

"I promise, sir. I promise."

Fury repressed a smile caused by the poor, desperate agent. He was still waiting for Coulson to get down on his knees and beg. He knew this is all Coulson wanted. His childhood hero was still alive, so that _would _be something to be excited over.

Sighing, he said, "Okay, Coulson."

Coulson shrieked, throwing his hands over his mouth after. He started breathing heavily. He was going to get Captain America! He, Agent Phil Coulson, would personally escort the Captain to the helicarrier! He could be right there, right beside the Captain, and be the envy of all the fans!

He, Phil….

Phil slumped onto the ground, lightheaded and dizzy. Fury almost grinned again. "Sir, what just happened?" an agent asked, alarmed.

"He fainted," Fury replied simply. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do."


	2. Coffee Run

There was a knock on Steve Rogers' door. Steve rose from his chair and opened up his door. "Hello?" he asked.

Agent Phil Coulson stood there, beaming. "Hello, Mr. Rogers."

"Just call me Steve."

Somehow, Phil's smile grew even bigger. "Hello, Steve." A repressed squeal came out of his throat.

Steve stood there awkwardly for a moment, not sure how to take the squeal. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Phil stopped bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Oh, yes! Would you like some coffee?"

Steve gave a returning grin. "Yes, please. Don't interns usually do coffee runs, though?"

"Oh, I decided to give them a break," Phil said, nodding his head to the side.

(In other news, Agent Coulson missed two meetings and the intern who delivered to Steve Rogers had a spontaneous break from working.)

Steve nodded. "Can I have—"

"Coffee with creamer and a pack of sugar?" Phil put the coffee in Steve's hand.

Staring down at the coffee cup, Steve replied, "Er, thanks, but how did you know that?"

His cheeks gaining a tinge of pink, Phil replied, "Oh, you know, I asked the interns. They're so helpful, telling me everybody's orders."

"Oh." Steve gave an awkward, unsure grin before closing the door.

Phil almost fell over as the door shut. "I can't believe this is happening!" he squealed, almost running back to his room. He slammed his door shut and flipped the light on. Captain America posters hung from all around the walls. Action figures lined his dresser and Captain America's face stood out proudly on the bedspread. Phil dug through his trunk, pulling out a worn journal.

"Dear Steve," he started writing, "today I got to deliver your coffee to you! Isn't that great? The intern that usually delivers to you took some coaxing because I think she may have some feelings for you, but twenty bucks later and ten minutes off the job really worked.

I can't wait for you to sign those cards! I always get so flustered when I see you, I forget to grab them. Now I understand what all those annoying girls feel about their idols. Oh, Steve, I hope we can become best friends or something. Wouldn't all you other fans be sooo jealous? Yeah, they would. I could just see it now! 'Phil Coulson, best friend of Captain America!' Doesn't that sound nice?

I know we're destined to become best buds. When I combed your hair with such precision after you were thawed, I just knew it. If I weren't around, who would you have to get all the little details right? Nobody, that's right.

I can't wait to talk to you again!

Your fan,

Phil Coulson"


	3. Meeting

As the Avengers sat around the table, Agent Coulson had his eyes set on one specific member. _Keep calm_, he kept telling himself. Taking a deep breath, he headed over to Steve Rogers.

"Hello again," Phil said.

Steve turned around and smiled. "Hello, Agent Coulson."

It took all the strength Phil could muster to keep from squealing as Steve said his name.

"Do you know what this meeting is about?" Phil asked.

Steve shrugged. "I'm assuming it's about what our mission is going to be."

"If you need clarification on anything, just ask me," Phil said.

"Thanks," Steve replied, turning around again as Fury entered.

Fury glanced over at Phil and gave him a stare, signaling for Phil to sit down. Phil hastily grabbed a chair near Steve.

During the meeting, Phil watched Steve. _Yes, I combed his hair perfectly after he was thawed! _Phil thought to himself. He studied the way it waved to the side. _I've never seen anybody's hair curl like that. It's just to perfect! Steve's just so perfect! Wait, is this sounding like I'm a creepy fan? But it's Steve Rogers, what's not to like?_

"Agent Coulson!"

Phil jumped, his thoughts being pushed away by Steve staring at him. "Um, could you explain this Loki to me a little more?" Steve asked.

Phil shook his head to clear it up more. "Sure, what would you like to know?"

Steve stared at him for a few moments unsurely before asking his questions. Phil was a bit distracted during the whole thing, deciding whether or not to get a jacket to match Steve's.

After the meeting, Phil walked back quickly to his room, wondering where he was to get a jacket like Steve's.

He pulled out his diary—er, journal.

_Dear Steve,_

_ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU SAID MY NAME TODAY! Well, Agent Coulson, but it's close enough. I can't wait until you say "Phil"!_

_ Explain to me how you get your hair so perfect? It's always the same way all the time and it looks so nice on you! No matter what fights or anything, it always stays in place! Is it because you're just awesome enough to do that? I think that's why._

_ Oh, and where did you get your jacket by the way? I want one like that. Could you imagine one day on a free day I "accidentally" run in to you and we're both wearing the same jacket? Or even better, the same shirt as well? Or even the best of the best, the same _outfit? _That would be so cool! We could be twins!_

_ Do I sound like a creepy fan now? I was wondering that earlier. I mean, just because I want to look just like you and I think you're perfect and I want to be your best friend doesn't meant that, right? It just means I'm dedicated. I think. Natasha—excuse me, Agent Romanoff—seems to think otherwise, but what does she know? Has she ever been in my position before?_

_ Oh, well. One day we'll be hanging out all the time and Natasha is just jealous of our (future) friendship._

_ Your fan,_

_ Phil Coulson_


	4. Gym

Phil Coulson rubbed his hands together eagerly. His lips dry, he licked them, smiling softly to himself. He tried to do anything to keep himself from bouncing on his feet. Currently, he was too find Captain Rogers and tell him it was lunchtime.

Phil meandered through the hallways, asking people if they knew were Steve was, as he wasn't in his normal spot. Anxiety rushed through him; he wanted to talk to Steve so bad. What if Steve already went to lunch? What was he supposed to do then?

Finally, somebody nodded. "Yeah, I saw him heading towards the gym."

Phil could've screamed right there. Instead, he kept his composure, told the worker his thanks, and headed towards the gym, his pace a little faster then normal.

The hallways seemed longer than usual as he went to the gym. It felt like he was racing against time; racing against some unknown person to get to Steve first.

Eventually, the gym came into sight. Phil did everything he could to restrain himself from sprinting to the entrance. His heart pounded in his chest, hope ringing in his ears that Steve was working out.

As he entered the gym, he saw Steve back at the punching bags. Phil took it all in, his eyes growing wide. Knees shaking and hands going clammy, he started to let out a fanboy squeal but his throat was too dry to do anything.

It was all too much for him. He staggered too the right and collapsed right on the spot.

Steve heard his body hit the floor. Spinning around, he saw Colson. "Oh my—!" Steve exclaimed, running to Phil. He knelt beside him, holding Phil up some. "Are you okay?" he asked. Phil remained still. "Agent Coulson!" Steve shook him gently.

Phil's eyes slowly opened. As the haze seemed to lift, full consciousness came back. He suddenly grew alert as he saw Steve. "Steve!" he said happily. Steve squirmed uncomfortably, Phil instantly scolding himself internally for making his "Steve" sound high-pitched and, well, creepy.

Holding his self up now, he pushed himself up. "Captain Rogers," Phil said, his internal fanboy trying to break out of his calm and collected shell.

"Do you need any help?"

"N—" Phil stopped instantly, realizing Captain America himself would touch Phil's arm. "Maybe so," he said, trying to keep a groggy voice.

Steve grabbed Phil's hand, pulling him up. Phil wanted to shriek. "Thanks," Phil told him.

"No problem." Steve studied him a moment, brushing the hair out of his eyes. Phil felt drunk just looking at his sweaty hair. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Phil snapped back to reality, forgetting everything he was thinking about styling his Captain America dolls' hair. "Um, yeah, I think I'm just a bit tired."

"You need rest," Steve told him.

Phil wanted to giggle at Steve telling him how to feel better. "I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

Phil stared into Steve's eyes, suddenly worrying that all the pictures he drew had the wrong shade of gray in Steve's irises.

"Agent Coulson?"

Once again, Phil snapped back to reality. "Yes, I'm sure."

Steve looked at him with unease. "I don't know, you keep blanking out on me."

"I'm here to tell you to go to lunch," Phil said abruptly, remembering why he was here.

Steve stopped with what he was saying. "Okay, I'll get down there soon." He turned around and went to his bag before waving at Phil over his shoulder.

Phil waved back, walking casually out of the gym.

When he left, he almost sprinted back to his room.

_Dear Steve,_

_ I'm a bit embarrassed right now. I passed out right in front of you! I couldn't help it; you were working out and it was just all too much. But you helped me up too. I can now say Captain America has touched me! Wait, not in the way that you're thinking. It was my back and my arm. That's where I was touched. Not where you're thinking and—_

_ Never mind._

_ Anyways, I need to check all my drawing journals because I think I've been drawing your eyes wrong. You're eyes aren't the dark hazy gray I thought they were._

_ [Insert Phil Coulson's sad face.]_

_ Oh! I have a new hairstyle for your dolls! I call it "the Workout." It's a bit of a messy yet domineering hairstyle. It screams, "I am powerful!"_

_ Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that's what made me pass out. Your hair is magnificent no matter what, you know?_

_ Well, I'm off to lunch now. You should be getting to the cafeteria by now. I'm still trying to work up the courage to sit next to you. I have so many things to ask you but I'm just a fan and you're… Captain America. Am I even worthy enough to say your name? Your hero name? It's enough to get worked up over._

_ Anyways, I guess I'll go think about it as I admire you from afar._

_ Your number one most dedicated fan that has ever lived EVER,_

_ Phil Coulson_


End file.
